As a young girl I often carried my babies around, rocking them, feeding them, potty training them, and stuffing my shirt with pillows to make myself look pregnant. From a very early age I found myself dreaming of being a mommy.
At the ripe old age of 19, I gave birth to our first son, adding the first baby to living out that dream. Since then I have carried, nursed, and cherished our little man. Seeking under the leadership of my husband to train him in the nurture, and admonition of the Lord. I cannot say with any truth that we are succeeding in this, but God has promised to reward those that seek His face, and desire his wisdom.
People often these days call to check on us asking "How are you?" I don't like giving the one word answers of "OK" and "Fine", however I have often found it hard to find words to explain how we are. Speaking for myself, there was a time when the world was very grey and dreary, with all the colors fading out, and blending in. The few places I did see color only caused me to remember my grief, and the loss of a beloved, and much desired baby. The colors made me think of the things Glory would never do or enjoy. Like bringing me flowers, or running outside in the bright green spring grass. However God is faithful to be our comforter, to give us new mercies every day. I can say now, that we are doing well, God's grace is sufficient for the times that I fail to trust him with the children he might bless us with in the future, and the joy of the Lord is our strength.
All of this to say, that the death of Glory caused me to stop, and rest for a time, in the plans that God has for me. It gave me time to meditate, and praise him for the blessing of both my Johns. Death has a way of forcing one to remember the blessings of God, and renewing ones zeal for living the few days of our lives for His glory, and not ours. I have come away from the month of March seeking to build my husbands house, making it be a place of joy, and a glory to our Father. I am living my dream of being a Wife, and Mother. I praise God that little Glory is already in His presence, while I seek to live a life of worth to my Father, until I see Him, and my loved ones in heaven.
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
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3 comments:
It still amazes me how God continues to "work all things together for good"! Thanks for the beautiful post.
Love you,
Momma Dar
Thou art our sister, be thou the mother of thousands of millions, and let thy seed possess the gate of those which hate them. ~~ Genesis 24:60
I am amazed at your maturity at your age. I am so comforted to read the words on your blog, and I must say that I am encouraged and thankful for where you are today. We, to, have a story of loosing a baby boy 15 year's ago. Our baby boy was 5 month's away from being born. A very difficult time in our lives. This happened after we delivered a premature son who was only 8 month's old and had only been home for 3 month's ever from the hospital. I didn't think that I would be blessed with anymore children and yet, God is faithful. I share to encourage you and hope that has been don. God bless you and stay close to the cross. God knows the desires of your heart and he wants to bless you. May God continue to bless you and John with MANY children. Praying for you all.
Mrs. Vicki
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